Comic Archive - Cup of Olea
How to Play
Chapter 1 - The Adventure Begins!
>Throws cup down, disgusted at self.
>Make a plan.
>suddenly a small flock of ducks land next to him, they tell him to call an ambulance immediately
>Do a handstand and handstand walk to the nearest coffee shop
>Suddenly a horse appears and asks if he needs a ride into town
>A horse appears with a beautiful princess.
>Go to Starbucks.
>Then Mr. Horse breaks his leg and he has to ride you to the coffee shop. Bummer
>A tribe of warrior termites start a war with the trees of the forest.
>Release the ants
>Run away and start the real mission.
>Take out your right eye, and then replace it with lint.
>Go see the blacksmith!
>Investigate your surroundings and take/steal anything of value.
>Stand up and go talk to the blacksmith.
>Spit your gum out and into the blacksmith's mouth.
>Cower in the corner and beg for mercy.
>Bite the flesh of your enemy.
>The blacksmith forges a sword and runs after you and you barely make it to the police before he almost killed you.
>Swallow the blacksmith. Then, barf him out.
>Take the blacksmith's heart out and eat it.
>Take the blacksmith's porcupine named Zazoom.
>Stab yourself in the head with your new sword.
>go find your eyeball and put it in your pocket.
>Do whatever it takes to get that doughnut/bagel.
>Give Zazoom the donut.
>ask the cops what they are investigating and if you can be of assistance
>go to your house with zazoom and get your wallet.
>After retrieving your wallet go back to the cops and admit that it was you who ate the last pie in the Baker's Bakery of Baked Goods, which is 423 miles away.
>Ask Chelle out.
>Kiss the horse and apologize for your heinous crime.
>Summon SonicFan and make other refrences to Lunar Hill
>Burst into tears and flail around. While the cops are confused punch them in their butts.
>Tell Zazoom to attack Chelle for not going out with you.
>Tell the cops they can't arrest you for disciplining your horse for acting up.
>Tell the cops you are too weak to carry Mr. Horse, so they should help you get him out.
>Have a sissy fight with the cops, the winner eats Mr.Horse.
>Grab Zazoom and run to the mountains.
>Ask the cops if they have any of that stinky stuff to wake people up cuz you cant carry him.
>Eat a cloud.
>Find a good place to meditate and figure out your purpose in life :)
>buy a dog and see what zazoom does to it if it dies leave it there and do nothing about it
>discover a plot line in the ground and become rich
>Oh no! The plot line was actually a plot hole!
>build a treehouse
>Throw Zazoom at the zombie's heart. Then, run away screaming like a little girl.
>Stop running greet the zombie become friends then tell zazoom to attack the zombie again run around and scream again.
>Oh hey look it's a video game arcade.
>Marry the Zombie and name it Sherry
>Sick Zazoom on the zombie and finally kill it.
>Now that the zombie is dead, check out the arcade.
>Eat the cables connected to the best video game in the arcade.
>Notice the moutains behind you are really gaint chocolate chips
>Look to the left and notice the trees won the war with the termites.
>Play Sugar Rush.
>Lick the screen to the best game in the arcade.
>Virtually enter Sugar Rush and meet Vanellope!
>Play Lunar Hill
>Go into arcade basement and look for secret passage to Mt. Lala
>Leave the arcade and follow the knight.
>Stab the knight with your sword.
>Break the fourth, fifth and sixth wall, then notice Zazoom has beaten your highscore on Ms. Pacman
>Magically heal the knight and continue on to the castle!
>Call a taxi for the rest of the ride to the castle.
>Push the knight over
>Hold Zazoom over your head and shout weeeee!
>Don't notice everything is changing. Also eat some chocolate
>Apologize to Zazoom and toss him up in the air like a baby!
>Try to remember how you even got here, but then give up
>Try to talk to the king.
Chapter 2 - In The Service Of The King
>Tell the king you ate the Cup of Olea. Then, dance like a crazy lunatic.
>After doing the previous command, punch yourself in the face
>After the 1000th stair, crawl into the throne room from exhaution and pass out.
>Use a slinky also wonder how the knight beat you here.
>Suddenly; you do something that makes sense.
>Laugh insanely and throw Zazoom out the window.
>Punch King. Get Crown
>Stop and offer his crown back, ask him what he wants you to do.
>Accept the quest, then stride out of the castle whilst singing "I'm Henry the eighth".Then promptly realize you have no idea where to start.
>Activate the button on the crown that turns it into a jet pack.
>Accept the quest then proceed to fire a lazor.
>Shove your face into a wall.
>Ask man dressed as a ninja if he has seen a spy.
>Have Zazoom sniff out the spy.
>Throw a flying purple monkey to mars, then eat your leg.
>Accuse the king himself of being a spy.
>ask the knight with the blue armband if she's the spy
>look up, and barf on the ninja
>Go to Hal's Laser Shop
>Go to gaurds, point at blyue armband one and sout "THIS UNIFORM IS UNACCETABLE, UNACCEBTAAABBBLEEE, 7 years duneon, no trial"
>Try to take Zazoom off your face without getting serious injuries on your hands
>Set up a Christmas tree in the throne room
>Point right at the knight with a blue band and tell the king that the spy is there, jump out of the window, and disco!
>Spit in the king's eye.
>Butter someone's biscuts.
>see the medic.
>Sneak into the royal armory and take the tome!
>Find a dimond, MINECRAFT STYLE.
>Notice the elevator next to the stairs and cheer only to find its out of order.
>Politely request the king to install an escalator, or that he at least pretends that the stairs are a safety measure against attackers.
>Use the Christmas tree to surf down the stairs.
>Heal yourself, then re-decorate the tree for Halloween.
>Go looking for the spy
>Go visit Hal`s Laser shop, tell then you`re a knight, so you have full power to get a laser for free.
>Punch the living daylights out of the closest mammal.
>Don't punch Zazoom!
>Backflip out the castle
>Off to Hal's Laser Shop then, but don't forget to stop to smell the roses(or any good-smelling flower really)!
>Ask the healer girl to join your adventure!
>Ask Chell out again
Katelynn joined your party!
>Wake up to Katelynn shaving half your mustache.
>Notice Katelynn has a shadow.
>teleport to hals lazor shop
>Pat yourself on the back for being such an amazingly stupid person.
>Do something clever
>Make a magic carpet (With your magic) and fly to hal`s laser shoppe.
>Use your lightning tome
>Do the thing
>Tell taxi to go warp speed, if he says no, use a stick with a carrot on it.
>Tell Zazoom to stop sniffing Katelynn's hair.
>Arrive at Hal`s Lazer Shop.
> Ask Hal if he'd be so kind as to give you a bandage, as it appears while you going at warp speed, a mosquito flew by, and gave you a cut on your arm.
>Run around frantically screaming about malaria!
>Die from the cut. then revive using up an extra life
>Buy a LASER!
>Tell him that if he dosent sell you a laser that you will steal one and shoot him with it
>Run around with the gun pretending to shoot it and say pew pew!
>Go home and get your wallet!
>...and while you're there think about all of the choices you've made in life.
>Then move to mexico.
>Ex-pulse your digestive juices, all this running around nonstop isn't very good for your health.
>Tell Hal he can use the tome in excange for a laser
>grab a laser and blast your way out
>go buy a laser
>See if there are any jobs to do around town to pay for a repairman/legal fees when Hal presses charges/Taxi/coffee.
> Have a boss fight with the ground. For your first attack, use head butt.
>Yell, "BACON IS SUPREME!!" so loudly it reaches the heavens.
>Declare victory, then run off to fight an evil bacon god.
>Go into Starbucks and ask for a job.
>Realize that you left your I.D at your house
>Remember what happened last time you were in starbucks and leave
>You notice Zazoom followed you and now he's eating bacon from the ground.
>Go to the town of Beufold!
>Apologize to Zazoom for heartlessly abandoning him.
>Throw zazoom at the knight
Chapter 3 - First Mission: Zombies In Beufold!
>look for the zombie.
>Make a BLT then go fight zombles
>Tell Taxi to turn on the headlights.
>Offer Zazoom as a symbol of peace between zombies and humans.
>Kick zombie in the ****
>Use a bacon-lightning combo
>Continue walking to the town.
>curb stomp the zombie after it falls down.
>Brag to your comrades about how cool that was, and how you were the cause for this awesomeness.
>Use lightning tome to eradicate all the zombies in one shot.
>Start making your way down town, walking fast, faces pass and you're homebound
>Stop for gas and food.
>Tell taxi that she will get paid
>Falcon Punch the next next thing you see out of anger.
>Grab a cloud, fly up in the sky, and start throwing spinies everywhere!
>Eat Zazooms hat.
>Go ask the vilage 4 the reward of 999999 bucks
>Find a place to rest for the night.
>Ask Katelynn to open her eyes or go to sleep.
>Go into gas station and say you get gas for free beacuse you are knighted by the king
>Demand the person who killed the zombie to show themselves to the commanders!
>Ask Katelynn if she knows any offensive holy spells. I mean, she's a healer, but you never know.
>Ask the person who saved you to join your quest, if he doesn't, the ask him to at least help destroy all of the zombies.
>Scream like a little girl.
>Fall over in fatigue.
>ask the guy if he's gonna be that cold, 'I'm better than you' type, and why he has blue hair.
>I'm assuming the Cup of Olea is made of some sort of metal, so use your lightning tome to track down its location.
>Watch Zazoom run around crazy.
Get mad at the son of the king for calling you "Some guy who can`t stand his..." I forget the rest but still you still are mad at him.
>Notice the dead zombie looks like a less colorful you.
>Teleport yourself, Katelynn, and Zazoom to the King's chambers!
>Get some food.
>Go back to doing what you were originally doing.
>Completely forget the king son's name and start referring to him as Pepsi
>Do the thing.
>Arrive at the King's chambers!
>Have a random flashback that has nothing to do with the little plot we have.
>Sit on the Christmas tree.
>Space out whilst appearing to be paying attention. Also wear dark blue shorts..
>Ask the king if you could have one of those knight helmets, but the feather thingie is orange.
>Cry as Zazoom levels up.
Zazoom Level Up!
>Magically grow a beard while the looking up cheats for Cup of Olea.
>Remember your horse that may be dead or sleeping. Great times huh. And I guess do something useful or whatever.
!mih ta moozaZ worht os rebmem ytrap a t'nsi ispeP>
>Thank god you know how to read backwards. Anyway, ask the party if they know how to get to Trosdan, and you should probably ask Taxi about the fare at this point.
>Start the new mission!
>Ask Katelynn to heal Pepsi from Zazoom's attack.
˙sǝɔuǝnbǝsuoɔ ʍǝɟ ʎɹǝʌ ǝɹɐ ǝɹǝɥʇ 'ɹǝʞɔɐɹʇ ɔıƃɐɯ ɟo ʇɹos ǝɯos sɐɥ ƃuıʞ ǝɥʇ ssǝןun ˙ısdǝd dɐz oʇ ǝɯoʇ ƃuıuʇɥƃıן ɹnoʎ ǝsn<
>Eat the burrito and see if you get any powers from it.
>Make taxi an official member of the party.
Chapter 4 - Journey To Trosdan
>Do something unconventional.
>Ask Katelynn to give you the history of Olea.
Start singing this is the best burrito. Also taxi levels up.
>For once pay attention to the story. Maybe you'll learn a thing or two.
>Ask Katelynn if she'd like blue clothes instead.
>Realize you learned fart attack after eating the burrito
>It's another time! Ask Katelynn if she would be so kind to tell you the story of the war a century ago.
>Go back to doing things conventionally.
>Arrive at the palace
>Shank someone. Then stare at them in a confused manner.
>I'm sorry my hand slipped
>Go inside the gas station and enjoy a triple scoop ice cream cone. Buy them for taxi and Katelynn
>After getting the ice cream pick up the man you just injured and tie him to Taxi, so that he will will join you on your journey whether he likes it or not.
>Ask Katelyn if she can help the guy you stabbed.
>fill up taxi
>Realize the world is being attacked by the great god of inconvenience. Schedule a good time to stop him.
>Continue on your trip to Trosdan.
>Apologize and ask his name
>Notice Katelynn has the hots for your new prisoner and act jealous.
>Does katelynn have the hots for everyone or something? whatever, just arrive there already.
>A knight suddenly appears, appearing to be in terrible condition. He has a sword in his back, and he is begging for help.
>Pay attention to the story once more, then realize something that may or may not be important.
>Untie Pal. Then, tie him to a tree.
>Untie pal from the tree.
>Leave Pal, for he will only get in the way.
>Ask Taxi to go at warp speed, but find out her warp speed drive is overheated.
>Say "Wheeeeee!" as Taxi gallops into Trosdan.
>Its later, ask taxi how she can travel at warpspeed.
>Tell Tozzy to leave you alone, and that he's the biggest jerk you've ever met.
>Threaten to kill Tozzy if he doesn't tell you everything about Trosdan.
>Wonder why the commanders hate these npc's so much
>This is no time for distractions!
>Punch Mr. T in anger that Riskfan didn't get the cameo.
>Run after mr t and then drop kick him.
>Stab the ground right next to Tozzy's head, just to give him a little scare.
>Do the fork in the garbage disposal
>Apologize to Tozzy and ask if he can help you with your quest.
>Do the sexy eyebrow thing to Katelynn and watch her reaction.
>If Mr. T says no to you asking to join your quest, tie him up (like Pal) and don't let him go until he agrees to join your group.
>Ask Taxi about her past.
>Go off to find a motel, but continue listening
Chapter 5 - The ESP
?Fluid Headlight needs she if Taxi ask
>Pay to get into the motel
>Throw Zazoom at Tozzy.
>have katlin heal tozzy and apoligize.
>Unable to enter command. He is coming.
>Make a pledge to never shave your beard, even up to the day you die.
>Ask Tozzy, "What in the name of all things purple happened to your face?"
>Just give up on- Wait, how did Pepsi find out what Hotel/Motel/5-Star Resort we were staying at?
>There should be a car chase
>Whistle a song appropriate for the situation.
>(Katelyn) Strangle Mr T to death
>Get mad at Katelynn, assuming she strangled Mr. T., and punch Taxi in anger.
>*pew pew pew* go the lazer gun and "HOLY CRAP" goes Pepsi
>Flail and wail.
>Save. Just save.
>Tell him that you're sorry.
>save and then run out and stab a knight epically
>Smack Tozzy for giving a carrot to Zazoom.
>Use Taxi to escape with warp speed.
>Ask Eddie if he can join your party too!
>Save, then gut Pepsi. If anything goes wrong we'll just go back to the last save point.
>go outside and hadouken the knights
>take zazzom by the quills and carry him out.
>MEANWHILE IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE WHERE EVERYTHING IS THE SAME EXCEPT PEPSI IS A GIANT CAKE
>After getting Zazoom unstuck, slam him into Tozzy.
>just go to a different inn, Tozzy's been through enough.
>Do something useful like use your bacon and lighting powers on the knights...then make a blt.
>go outside and shoryuken the knights.
>Restore the comment about the bacon and lightning powers.
>Go with sheridan to settle the dispute, with the knights!
>Get fed up with all the annoying things in the world including how your friends are not doing as you request and how they are being sensible.
>Follow Pepsi while eating a BLT.
>Wonder why u would eat ur Blt since it is the source of your magic
>Actually, go back to the last save point and wait for Pepsi to negotiate with the knights. Then go to a different inn.
>Mɥɐʇ ɥɐddǝus ıɟ I do half the command upside down?
.yzzoT ta dum worhT<
>Save. Then, offer Pepsi a BLT.
>Do victory dance
>Turn into a lightning elf!
>┴rʎ uoʇ to dnʞǝ
>Puke on Pepsi, the reload last save.
>Don't reload last save, I want to see what happens.
Level Up 2!
>apologize and help clean up the vomit.there was probably something in the coffee you had this morning (even though you didn't really drink it; it was more like you threw it and tried to do a headstand on it)
>Ask Pepsi what to do next
>go perform a fatality on tozzy
>Shove a BLT into Tozzy's mouth. Then, go do whatever it is Pepsi has been telling you to do this whole time.
>Take a bite out of the sun to make it a moon and thus nighttime.
>Gather team and head off to the next adventure with Sheridan.
>jump and dance! you have survived the scary 300th comic page!
>fall down a really big hole!
>After safely landing at the bottom, discover pirate treasure hidden inside!
>Ask Katelynn for a rope, assuming she can hear you.
>after you find the treasure you find a secret switch that opens a secret passway! :D
>cry in a corner
>Scrawl the word, "humdinger" on the wall.
>Decide to rename the treasure "Humdinger" from whatever it used to be.
>Ask for some help carrying the treasure.
>Remember you left Zazoom, go and get him!
>do a backflip and land it perfectly. man that would be a humdinger.
>Enter that room! ...That is, go through that door!
>**** your pants in fear.
>grab your treasure and store it in your inventory! so you won´t forget it! then knock on the door and ask whoever answers if he knows flip-jack! :D
>Take off your pants. They smell bad.
>BEES!!!! OH GOD THERE IN MY EYes THE BUZZING THE BUZZING
>Get all excited over a breakfast burrito behind the door. You haven't eaten in forever!
>Shave off your facial hair, if you can't manage that, burn it off
>Ask the person in the room if he will help carry the Humdinger.
>Do something now that will vastly improve the command 23 pages from now.
>Ask the guy to help you
>Check out the room the mysterious guy was talking about.
>Realize your beard has turned into ash and fallen off
>the mysterious man has the key! you give him da boot in da face! for hiding it! then take the key!
>Ask the man who he is and what he'd like you to do
>Walk on your hands.
>Walk on your head.
>Walk on your dignity
>then kindly ask for the key.
>Make a blood pact with yourself.
>Watch as a magic pipe tunnel appears and Katelynn drops through on Taxi.
>You should probably stop walking on your dignity before that pipe goes away, also; explain the situation to Katelynn.
>Go look for the key
>Say hi to Katelyn and Taxi.
>suddenly your Awesome beard grows back! and you fall thru a secret door that sents you where the humdinger is! and you find a secret door that has all you need to block that hole! :)
>Notice another door that leads you to a room with the key to the humdinger.
>Eat the burnt out torch.
>Examine the room for secret passageways to the dungeon.
>If no secret passageways to the dungeon are found, punch a wall in an attempt to make one.
>Use the pipe Taxi and Katelynn used to return to the surface.
>summon a bacon hula hoop and do the hula with it while continuing what you were doing/supposed to be doing
>Take the key-ring and do something that will advance the plot further in a meaningful manner.
>Stand on one foot
>eat bacon hula hoop, free your arm, eat Tozzy´s heart! >:D
>use your epic bacon powers to make it rain bacon only inside the building
>CLAIM THE TREASURE GO GO GO DO IT DO IT DO IT
>Uhh... Plot Twist?
>Suddenly stop in the middle of your track to cry
>Untie Tozzy and reclaim Zazoom.
>unleash hell on tozzy.
>Eat a banana. The potassium is good for you.
>Become super low res
>Untie Tozzy, take Zazoom off his chest, literally, and ask Katelyn to heal him.
>Take shove bacon down tozzys throat to heal him.
>go and open the trasure chest! then put this face! >:D and do a Legend of Zelda Reference! :)
>Magically get a splinter in your finger from opening the chest.
>Flail around like the idiot you are.
>Dress as bacon.
>Go looking for the key to humdinger while ignoring all commands
>Look on the keyring for a team fortress 2 loot key
>Use the empty treasure chest to plug up the hole. Or the wood from it, if just shoving the whole thing in the hole doesn't work.
>Use your bacon powers to generate a piece of bacon, and see if you can teleport to the location of pieces of bacon. Because why not?
>use your bacon powers to transform the town into bacon.
.nwot eht tae nehT .emutsoc nocab ruoy taE<
>Go back to where you found the chest and begin the exploration!
>Go with the old man and breakdance! Then ask why he is there.
>Use the chest to plug the hole...or dance.
>become Mario Mario
>Eat the bacon off Tozzy
>Start singing a merry tune.
>plug up the hole with bacon.
>Realize that pie is more awesome that you thought.
>turn the door into bacon, then eat it.
>Tell him you are half Olean, half Erelian, that's true, right? Oh, and put on a fake moustache, and put a white sticker on your cap to make you look more like mario
>Join the ESP at all cost, no matter what happens.
>Ask how helpful bacon-kinesis will be for a spy agency.
>and keep the Groove by dancing and singing
>do the most productive thing possible
>Ask Stephen if Katelynn would be helpful to the ESP
>Burst into tears, exclaiming, "Forgive me"
>Request the Bacon Gods to PLEASE talk to the Pie Gods to PLEASE give you Pie powers. That it will help you in your journey as a s-pie, I mean, spy.
>Do something that will advance the plot in a significant way
>Go convince Katelynn to join the ESP.
>yell "BACON AND PIE ARE EQUALLY SUPREME!" so the gods will end the war and give you bacon and pie powers.
>use your bacon powers to open a gate to Bacon Sky where the bacon gods reside and end the war once for all! :)
>use your stealth genorator to sneak past pepsi
>While in stealth mode, do a back hand-spring over Pepsi.
>See if you can give Zazoom bacon powers. Or pie powers! That would be awesome. And shoot something with your Mega Buster!
>Go back in time six pages.
>Turn into Sonic the hedgehog and celebrate halloween
Katelynn Level Up!
>pray to the bacon gods for claiming bacon and pie are equal
>Use the hyperdrive to go back to the castle!
>Yell, 'FOR MUUUUUUUURICA!' as you get into/during the hyperdrive.
>bow to your Bacon Gods to forgive you...since you were only trying to help them achieve peace....and that you would not want to lose their friendship since you have a history together...
>Stab someone repeatedly with your carrots.
>eat the carrots. then gain night vision.
>Instead of eating the carrots, feed them to zazoom.
>If the Bacon Gods returned your powers, Send them a flying kiss. If not, still do so to aggravate them.
>revert to your first outfit. this one is completely ridiculous.
>Go to the hyperdrive, but then the power goes out and it's stolen. Sorry, people, but this story isn't over yet if i get my way!
>Punch the nearest object so hard it destroys the panel
>Apologize and help the knight up, then ask her where the King is.
>Yell "CATS ARE SUPREME!!1!one1!" to the heavens.
>Tell the knight that the king is taking too long, and ask if you can get a light tome (and some armor and a sword) from the armory!
>after that you will ask Katelynn to forgive your crazyness is from your family...actually your uncle has the same problem...and ask her if she is willing to go on a date with you...
>Ask the knight to see if you can assist her in finding the king.
>go to hals lazor shop
>Make me cameo....as a top hat.....
>Throw the X-mas tree out a window.
>Sit in the king's throne.
>Do an action that will please the Gods in general. Then do something that will allow the story to progress positively.
>Continue listening to the story like a good protagonist.
>see if the cat gods gave you cat powers, then ride pepsi like a horse.
>manage to get near Katelynn and ask her to go with you on a date!
>Wake up from a dream, realize you were sleeping the whole time throughout the conversation between Pepsi and the king.
>thank the cat gods for cat ears, then ask for a cat tail.
>Do something ridiculous to gain everyone's attention.
>See how many gods you can please and get powers from before this conversation ends. Cause more powers = more awesome, right?
>Give Katelynn the light tome.
>Dance the Macarena
>Tell the King everything you know about the mission that hasn't been said already
Chapter 6 - The Date
>Advance the plot.
>Assuming she says yes, take her out for a nice dinner. If she doesn't, try to figure out if you have any cat powers.
>Equip your mithril sword
>make everything look hyper realistic.
>Make sure you have a wallet with you. If you don't have any, sell the throne for some gold!
>If Katelynn says yes, take her on a great date
>thank the cat gods, then ask for cat powers.
>Save your progress.
>Try to use the vinesauce ROM corrupter on this game, if you can't, then look slightly dissapointed.
>Make him extra happy if she had said yes
>Zazoom: Eat Tophat
>Be seated, and remember you have a spare wallet hidden in your cat tail.
>poke katelynn to annoy her.
>If you didn't have a spare wallet hidden your tail, ask taxi to quickly go get it for you, and ask very politely.
>After a nice date, ask taxi to PLEASE get his wallet so he can pay for the tab and get that maneki-neko he has at home. Then go to Starbucks.
>Tell the restaurant manager that you work for the kings son
>you remembered that in your pocket you have some nice flowers that you picked in your travels for Katelynn and give them to her!
>Zazoom: Puke out Onlyhalf
>Blush at the next thing Katelynn says, whatever it may be.
>Order your food once Katelynn's done asking questions.
>Eat something too spicy and breathe flames. Because that's just awesome
>Taxi and Zazoom: Go on amazing adventure while Cliff and Katelynn date.
>Random Guy: Don't appear
>Flirt with Katelynn
>compliment her eyes! and her hair!
>let her know how you feel about her and ask if she feels the same about you...
>Ask Katelyn about her parents
>Examine your utensils.
>Do something romantic for Katelynn.
>Hum Porkys theme
>Say something romantic and stop midway
>Start dancing some ball dance because they started playing the song
>do something bad***
>do something romantic
Chapter 7 - One is the Loneliest Number
>Go to see Katelynn and ask what's wrong.
>Realize that Katelyn has used you, to get information about you for the king...
>find Katelynn and ask her...why she left so sudden?...was it your fault? did you do something wrong?
>"!NNYLETAK ,LUFETARG OS M'I ,WOW .ETAD A FO ELDDIM EHT NI EVAEL TSUJ TON OT HGUONE EM SETAICERPPA ENOEMOS TAHT WONK OT ECIN S'TI ,LLEW" ,maercS
>Do something smart
>Tell Katelynn how grateful you are for her company on the adventures.
>go get some coffee
>go home and go to sleep
>Be grateful that this date happened...then cry
>Notice your cat features flickered in and out of existence. Then ask the cat gods what is wrong
>suddenly you remember that Zazoom put a tracking device in Katelynn´s drink the other day! and that you have the tracking device finder! go find her!
>Belay the previous order and enter the shop to get a job! Do whatever it takes to get your money back you lost on your date!
>Try not to mess up the job interview.
>Take deep, calming breaths.
>After the interview, make sure to go to Starbucks for coffee - you deserve it.
>flood the screen with tears
>Find Katelynn immediately and kiss her.
>Snap out of your daydream, and prepare for your first day of your job.
>and tell Chelle that you are sorry for trying to kiss her...as you were daydreaming about the chick you like...and suddenly you have a top hat!
>Jump into your work clothes screaming "Hot diggity dog!" with a :D face
>Do something amazing.
>Try to figure out how to find your party members...
>Do your job.
REMEMBER MANEKI NEKO
>Do something to further the plot
>Save! It's been too long! What if you die? Do you even realize how much progress you'll lose? D:
>Say screw this job and leave to find Katelynn
>Contemplate why you got a job with all these adventures you have to do.
>Start training with your sword once you arrive.
>Dress up like Michael Jackson and moonwalk up the stairs.
Level Up 3!
>Ask the king where Katelynn is.
>Try to hack the save machine.
>Spot the person that was following you and Cab.
>Ask the kind ninja if he has a maneki neko in his treasure storage
>go back to work! your coffee time is over! and you remember you got limitless money!
>Forget everything and watch tv
>Force Cab to eat your top hat.
>Check up on Taxi and Zazoom
>do the creepy :D face. Then make note to ask BioWare to make a CYOA adventure RPG about your experiences.
>Zazoom: Randomly appear.
>Dress as the 10th Doctor from Doctor Who, trench coat included, and attempt to find a Sonic Screwdriver in your pocket. If successful, be happy and make it part of your inventory. If not successful, be disappointed.
>Throw the Zazoom impostor out the window.
>Kick the tree out the window.
>Do a back flip while listening to what happens.
>Start calling the King "Coca-Cola"
>Load an old save
>Realize that you really should pay attention, and do so...
>don´t load the old save! instead hack your inventory so you get an Axe that can beat swords! and you gain a straw hat!
>Play Sonic '06 to train yourself to be brave.
>Suddenly realize all the guards and knights you have met in this adventure are clones of the same purple ape.
>Ride the Christmas tree down the steps
>Scream Woohoo on the Christmas tree.
Chapter 8 - Zazoom And Taxi's Big Adventure
>Kick guy in ****
>find the nearest shirine and there is the holy Muffin! treasure it! worship it! Love it!
>Do Plot-related stuff!
>GET TO DA TARDIS (which was presumably there the whole time)
>Wear a sombrero.
>Realize the secret to getting infinite money
>Zazoom: Do a back-flip.
>Have a flashback
>Taxi: Run in circles. Then walk on air. :3
>Taxi: Remember what you were supposed to be doing in Murica.
>Attempt to ignore the smog.
>Zazoom grow in size! Taxi you show your great imagination! :)
>Kick the nearest person in the face
>Yell random stuff.
>Suddenly laugh like a maniac.
>Zazoom: Try to summon someone.
>Taxi: realize that someone was following you in hyperdrive.
>Zazoom: Be a carrot
>Do something productive
>See if the rumors about everyone in Murica are true.
>Take out your kidney
>Jump down the hole! :3
>Zazoom: Appear. Taxi: Scream in fright at the magical appearing Zazoom.
>Taxi: Investigate your surroundings
>Zazoom: tell that nice pink porcupine how much you like her! Taxi: remember your fear of holes! and get out of the hole!
>Taxi: Call Cliff with your cyborg cellphone.
>save the dog hank has.
>Fire a RPG.
>Taxi: Install eye lasers because they're cool.
>Zazoom: Wear a olive cool scarf.
>Zazoom, put on shades and say
>Zazoom: Admire a painting made by the great artist MasterComic.
>Zazoom: Yell "I KNOW YOU'RE LISTENING!" Taxi: Yell "I KNOW YOU'RE LISTENING, GREAT ARTIST MASTERCOMIC!"
>Call the female porcupine "Mittenshark"
>Do plot stuff and make Zazoom's girlfriend wear a flower pin.
>Zazoom: Eat the scarf.
>Zazoom: Go fast while searching for hidden treasures and secret doors.
>Taxi: Do something vague.
Happy Holidays from Cup of Olea!
>Give the man the female Porcupine. That is, if you can find her.
>Cheat as a last resort
>Try to ask what was stolen.
>Name the stranger "Dorkasaurus"
>Try to slow the man down by blocking his path somehow.
>Taxi: Say "Okay" and give him back Zazoom. Zazoom: Be handed over.
>Teleport female porcupine into Cliff's arms
>Listen awkwardly as the guy laughs in a California beach accent "hohh hohh."
>Onlyhalf: Blow away in the wind
Chapter 9 - The Murican Dream
>Wake up after dreaming about Taxi and Zazoom being in danger.
>Wear a kilt
>Start mining for diamonds
>grow a cucumber
>Do something plot-related
>Wear a dress.
>Ask if there's a computer nearby, you need to look something up on Wiggiepeedya.
>Tell Pespi you know that about seven years ago, he was merrily splashing about in the river.
>dance! dance like you never did! upside down!
>Suddenly realize the porcupine you made appear instead of Zazoom is named Mittenshark.
>Use your blood pact to summon Captain Viridian from Dimension VVVVVV
>Become a goat
>Use your light speed (or whatever it is, I forget) to get there faster!
>Cliff take off clothes, Katelynn adopt Mittenshark, Pepsi change clothes
>Realize that the super-hero deities have awarded you powers
>Try to figure out what your backstory even is.
>Save the game
>Visit someone named Walter and ask him where to find Rodwell! Yay plot. :3
>Ask where the **** you are
>Do something of your own choice.
>Go to the castle, ask for that little plastic cat doll thing you were asked to bring to Starbucks
>Get a cute little cat-doll, and bring it to Starbucks.
>Realize that the Maneki-neko is back at the castle
>Jump off a cliff and try to either turn into a pokemon or a ball of lightning, whichever comes easiest.
Taxi Level Up!
>Buy a cup of coffee and ask if you're still employed here.
>Turn into a cat (with your cat powers)
>Praise the cat gods.
>Sing the Imperial Cat God´s March! from a Near Near Galaxy!
>Tell Taxi you're sorry for making her come all the way back to Olea.
>Search Wiggiepeedya to see if the teleporthax gods and cat gods are in war.
>Meow like a cat. :3 Tell Taxi to meow too.
>Kill yourself and possess taxi
>Come back from the dead as 2D from Gorillaz.
>If the cat command and possess taxi command were both successfully done, shout "I HAVE FULFILLED MY PURPOSE IN LIFE, I HAVE NO REASON TO LIVE ANYMORE" and kill yourself. Otherwise just eat a donut.
>Start a painting. Because you can.
>Go do what you're supposed to do in Murica
>Go to the bathroom
>See that little blue text down there? Stomp on it and do the fork in the garbage disposal
>Start a a pencil lead eating contest and lelevel UPP ERERRORREEEORORORRORO ErrorSummonNullFromN8NevernuatAndMissingNo
>DEFY ALL THE GRAVITY. VISIT ALL THE DIMENSION VVVVVV. HAVE ALL THE MEMES
>DO ALL THE BARREL ROLLS, and roll a few crates as well.
>Error: could not load cupofolea.exe
>Ruin all your cat powers by yelling "Dogs are supreme!"
>immediately regret that
>Ask Katelynn...what she feels about Pepsi...and tell her you saw them kissing...and tell her your feelings...
>Ask taxi if she can fly to dimension VVVVVV
>Decide Now is a perfect time to yell and start an argument with Katelynn.
>Flail and wail.
>Try to get your cat powers back by screaming: CATS ARE THE CUTEST ANIMALS IN THE WHOLE WORLD AND DOGS ARE UGLY DROOLING ANIMALS AND SO NOT SUPREME! That oughta work.
>Pretend to be over it whilst you continue on with whatever it is you're supposed to be doing
>Zaloom: Catch Onlyhalf in the wind and eat the tophat.
>See 1x1x1x1, the imfamous ROBLOX hacker.
>Save the game, do something horrible to Pepsi (I suggest throwing Zazoom at his face), then reload the game from that save you just made so nobody can be mad at you.
>Detonate the computer (?)
>Zaloom: Think in hackerspeak. Then, say to the gods of Leet in your mind, "L33T IS 4EVUR EP1C !!!111!!11!". Then get leet powers and escape.
>Let's begin again. This is the story of a man named Cliff.
>Kill katelynn, then reload the save
>Try switching to Zaloom. He might be somewhere.
>Say "who the **** is zaloom"
>Taxi: Suddenly laugh like a manic again.
>Paint Taxi red, and Zazoom yellow.
>Make Zazoom an official member of the party because you did not do so in the past. Also hack the game and make Taxi laugh like a manic forever.
>Ignore every command but this one
>Ignore the previous command and accept every single one
>The birds at the start came back and take their revenge
>Wonder why Katelynn chose Pepsi
>see if you can join the cult of zombiederps, the zombies who can only do derpy things
>Tell Pepsi that maybe they should take a selfie since they're duckfacing so much.
>throw zaloom at pepsi to get the evil duck off his face.
>Use any powers you have left to defeat the demon ducks
>Change back to your default clothes. You look ridiculous.
>Everybody do stuff
>destroy Imageshack for charging money when they didn´t before! then paint back Zazoom and taxi to their original colors!
>Screw the plot and go crazy. >:3
>Do something sensible.
>Suddenly refuse to move from your place no matter what and blame Katelynn. If they move on without you, grab Pepsi by the hand and don't let go.
>Go to last save (Quadforce's command, the game automatically saved on that command.)Also why does Zaloom sound so much like Zazoom? There's only one letter changed...
>See what is on top of the roof.
>Punch taxi in the face, Knight Game II style.
>Remind yourself to give Taxi your phone number.
>Cuddle the baby porcupine!
>Try out that godmode thing and... I dunno, take his gun?
>Try out some of that famous 'blue candy' to see if you get any 'powers' from it.
>Hop on taxi and flee to the arcade and maybe chew some power cables while you're at it...
>Be sad because this guy's back.
>Zazoom: Eat Tozzy's gun and get lazer powers.
>Zazoom: Do a back flip for no reason.
Public Service Announcement
>Call all the porcupines in here.
>Do something plot related
>Start to shout "I DONT KNOW WHATS GOING ON PEPSI KISSED KATELYNN AND THIS GUY HAD A LAZER GUN AND I REALLY WANT TO EAT SOME (more) CANDY"
>Run all around the country looking for Paulo
>Use your cat powers to do something plot related.
>Ask the gods for a 3DS
>Wherever you are, Kill Tozzy with Lightning.
>Apologize to Rodwell for your horrible manners.
>Play Super Pablo 3D land on your new 3DS, don't stop
>play Pokey Men: Mister Dunjin: Doors Two: Finity and then try to do that thing they do at the end where they stand on top of each other and poke themselves to death while wearing deoderant
>Have zazoom fire a laser at a tree.
>Name the baby porcupine 'MittenZoom' and add him/her to the party.
>Realize Zaloom is missing
>Dress up as a Pikachu! X3
>Make a blood pact with everyone here
>Sing a merry tune.
>Get angry and punch the nearest person.
>toot loudly and make an escape to do something better
>Do something plot related
>Taxi: Have a staring contest with Cab
>suddenly gain so much powers that you overload the game!
>Puke up the burnt torch you ate.
>Drink Venture-cola. Then look at zazo-- Error.
>Tell Pepsi you don't like him, but do so in a way that nobody else will understand.
>Question the very nature of your own existence.
>Start to sing What Is Love.
>Taxi: Do something to make Cab blink.
>Dress as Super Pablo and get a mullet
>become a creeper
Chapter 10 - Sewer Catastrophe!
>Wonder why you are obsessed with the Pokemon umbreon.
>Reenact the duck song
>Save the game. Then, creep up on Tozzy
>Apologize to Tozzy.
Mittenshark Level Up!
>Taxi: Invite Cab to be a member of the party.
>Kick a puppy to please the cat gods. Then look at cat pictures.
>Give everyone near you your phone number
>make a huge jump of faith from the highest tower! right in the haystack!
>watch zaloom land on pepsi
>go down a warppipe
>Try to explode. Somehow.
>realize that the king is sending you in jail
>Hopefuly we can delete zaloom from the game.
>Hug MJ and make up with Katelynn.
>land on the most fragile part of your body
>Do something that breaks every rule in the game.
>Suddenly fall into *insert winning place here*.
>Change out of that silly costume I'm not even sure what it is! INSTEAD, WEAR A CAT COSTUME.
>Change into different clothes. You look ridiculous.
>accidentally restore zaloom to the game
>you land safely in Jello!
>Summon everyone you have blood pacts with
>Go to sleep and have the best dream ever.
>Enter god mode and make a spear out of lightning
Emit emas eht ta, pilf tnorf a dna plifkcab a od!<
>Make another pointless wardrobe change ... but with /style/.
>Do a frontflip over the nearest obstacle and stick the landing perfectly.
>Call the lady knight.
>Hack the save machine so that it speaks again.
>whisper to pepsi "IF YOU DON'T SIGN THIS BLOOD PACT, I'LL TELL EVERYONE THAT SHERIDIAN "PEPSI" FARTHEAD WAS STILL IN DIAPERS AT THE AGE OF SEVEN"
>Act completely insane by running around and screaming.
>Sit and chat about it over a nice cup of tea.
>dream that you're in minecraft
>accidentally bump your computer and put the backup zaloom files in the game
>Save your game, then summon yourself.
.(tfarceniM morf ekil) repeerC a ekil kool uoy sekam taht emutsoc a no tuP<
>Please the cake gods, train gods, and the ghost gods all at once.
>summon zaloom because you didn't delete him you just accidentally gave him the power to fly so he flew away and denied your summoning
>Ask Katelynn to heal you if she's around.If not, buy an Arwing
>Suddenly scream at the top of your lungs for no apparent reason!
>Zazoom: Hop onto Cliff's head.
>Suddenly be cartoonish and blow up the ceiling of the sewers!
>Go farther into the sewers and end up in Bacon-Cookie Sewer zone, and discover that you're in a a REALLY REALLY REALLY big factory that makes food!
>become a proctologist and say katelynns butt is the cure to cancer
>umbreons, umbreons, umbreons everywhere, wait, were did they come from?
>puke up clones of burnt torch 20 times.
>"Are you a zombie?"
>you say that you want to ask her if she is trully happy with Pepsi...then let tears run...
>Make Katelynn cry.
>Take the corpse's sunglasses
>Get them to eat all the jello with you.
>Have a lightning lance ready for zombies.
>Make a makeable make of makeability. Then do a thing.
>Become suddenly self aware of what you are.
>Pull out your.. your... er...wealth wield? Self yield?
>CHANGE COSTUMES AGAIN. ...Er, change into a pie costume.
>change in a Muffin Costume!
>Zaloom is a virus and viruses cant be deleted.
>Also go through door
>watch as zaloom lands on zazoom
>Rant about how you hate everything and end your complaining with, "Also I hate Zaloom."
>Make a :O face and say "I dunno, but it's making me hungry!" By the way, make Zaloom a villain.
>Throw a pokeball at Katelynn and see what happens
>If there is threat around you... If not then tell Katelynn about the Lady knight.
>Take out a black crystal that shines with from a power within.
>Find out that you are in [insert name here], a evil factory owned by the REAL zaloom that makes food and evil Zaloom robots. (You deleted a clone, dummy!)
>Trainer ZOMBIE wants to fight! ZOMBIE sends out ROBOT ZALOOM! Go, TAXI!
>Yell "I HAT ZALOOM!"
>Say sorry for everything mean you've ever said to Katelynn, then hug her for no reason.
>Mittenshark attack Taxi with your new ability!
>Attack an enemy with the lightning lance, if there is one. If not change into your cat costume.
>have katelynn sign a blood pact with you, so she can summon you every four seconds
>hat all the porcupines.
>get rid of the Pikachu.
>Throw the muffin costume at the weird pikachu thing, and then put on a godly cheese costume with words carved in saying "CATS RULE"
>Confess your love for Zazoom to King Coke.
>find out if the muffin costume is real or not! if it is share its awesome flavor with Katelynn!
>Zazoom: Poke Cliff.
Chapter 11 - Where The Watermelon Is Found
>UTRLA RAGE MODE
>Taxi: See a bot. Because it is a program, it appears as a set of windows. That you can close.
>Katelynn: Realize that we are in the castle, the first world of the game. *cue bob-omb battlefield music playing*
>get a pet kirby to make up for your pikachu
>Shout "ALL HAIL THE TRAIN GODS! ALL HAIL THE CAKE GODS! ALL HAIL THE GHOST GODS! AND ALL HAIL THE PIKACHU GODS!"
>Put on a purple monkey costume, then ask people if they want some toast.
>Yell a sick burn at Eddie.
>Send out an awesome Charizard!
>Hear "Alright fine, I will respawn Zaloom.", wonder where the heck those words came from, then see some kind of rift leading to a place with a nighttime sky and... a turtle?
>Find the library
>Find a book at said library
>Give Mittenshark a Carrot! (I love that song!)
>Find a baby blue baby porcupine who can fly named mignon, also, tell king coke about the zombies in the factory.
>Fandom: Say stuff
>Katelynn: become Belle
>Make a lame pun about the events of the previous few comments.
>Immediately regret making that pun.
>Jump in rift to get to Lunar Hill universe! Also, Katelynn become pony belle
>why is there a "Angry Blue Haired Man" robot?
>Use your lighting magic on Pal.
>Free Pal and use Lightning Magic to battle the robot
>Ask the Bacon gods if they want to fight this time
>Act like a pit of donkeys.
Katelynn Level Up 2!
>Suddenly, your arms turn into pasta!
>Tell the Kirby where to find food so it leaves. It's giving me the creeps.
>Roll your lucky twenty sided die in hopes it'll grant you the ability to deal some critical damage. It's never failed you before.
>Make a blood pact with zaloom, and make him a party member.
>See a "LUNAR HILL BOSS RUSH" button. And then push it. And get teleported.
>Do Pokemon-Amie on Zaloom, and throw him at the nearest thing!
>Realize that you are in a big metal room, fighting a huge turtle.
>Get rid of your right eye (it's freaking me out)
>Go check to see if BioWare replied to your email!
>apply as a real proctologist and somehow prove that katelynn's a** really is the cure to cancer
>(Assuming that the robot is defeated by now, considering that was 15 pages ago), begin journeying to Erelia. We needn't dawdle any longer.
>Defeat a forest troll on your way to Erelia. Take the loot too.
>Before heading out, check to see if your bionic eye has X-ray vision.
>Ask if there are any pizzas, if not, ask if you can throw a party when the quest is done
>Use all of Katelynn's magic at once, on a zombie.
>Defeat any enemies that may be nearby.
>Set out on an adventure to find the tome of Possessing Peoplez!
>For the next four commands, refer to everyone as Jeffery the Third and only that. Chug down a bottle of alcohol every time you disobey.
>Fire a laser out of your eye
>Cause severe damage to the fourth wall. Also, you get a Sugarman hat.
>Go to Erelia (if you are not already there).
>ask Katelynn if your new eye works outside the socket...since it could be an awesome feature!...also that you still like her...
>Do something awesome.
>Run around with your arms extended and make airplane noises.
>see a rift to the lunar hill universe, and quickly jump into it.
>[This comment is out of command power. Blue Angry Robot was bored of being in this comic and cut off the command power. Please restore the command power back.]
>Upgrade graphics to 32-bit! Also type "Impulse 101".
>Zaloom: Get almost hit by meteor. Then try to get the meteor to the museum because meteors are worth hundreds of dollars.
>Give some detail to your eyes and put white around the pupil.
>Say, "Hey, Baby", to Katelynn while flexing your muscles.
>Apologize to the Erelian king about leaving without so much as a goodbye.
>You are suddenly transported to an alternate universe. Everything is the same, except Katelynne is wearing a top hat.
>Change into a shirt exactly like the one you're wearing, but blue.
>ask Katelynn if whe would like to go out again in the future!
>once you get the tome of possessing, head back and sue the king for not installing elevators
>Go back to the King and ask him about Zarrus
>Ask Katelynn if you can get a Mangekyō Sharingan.If she doesn't know what that is save,then kill her to see if you get one. <3 Of course load after that.
>Find out the moon is actually a croissant
>Forget the shrine and tome, let's go get our pizza back in Erelia where the king is!
>try to recap your adventure so far in exactly 42 words, and eat the pizza if it doesn't have human in it (humans are friends not food)
>Switch to an ACTUAL Sugarman hat.
>thank the king.
>start to dance because you got a date! then do this face :O because you have discovered the true meaning of a pixel!
>Possess the king.
>Ask Katelynn why one part of her skirt is translucent.
>Imagine that shirt in black.
>Katelynn: Take off the top hat.
>Ride back to the castle, possess Pepsi, and throw the king out of the window.
>Kiss Katelynn in front of Pepsi to see if he gets jealous.
>Do something of your own free will.
>do the worm!
>Hillman! What are you doing here?! GET OUTTA HERE, THIS IS CUP OF OLEA! NOT LUNAR HILL!
>See a "icon" with words under it saying "Lunar Hill", then wonder if we should touch it. Then notice that you are going out of another "icon" and seeing a bunch of other "icons".
>Eat a pokeball and wonder why I havent made a account yet.
>Realize that the reason Guest hasn't made an account yet is because he can't think of a username!
>Tell the duck gods how amazing they are, then ask for powers, if they decline, start singing bad songs and start dancing badly. ɐןso ʎon ɐɹǝ ɐɯɐzıub ıɟ ʎon ɔɐu ɹǝɐp ʇɥıs.
>Tell Katelynn that when you used the tome, you not only possessed the king, but also lost control. Also, summon everyone you have blood pacts with and find Kirby.
>acquire helix fossil, use helix fossil on katelynn AND SING THE DUCK SONG
>Suddenly say "Hey! Got any grapes?"
>Use the tome of possession on zazoom
.llet eht gnik taht uoy deen ot evaeL<
>Tell anybody who will hear you how awesome you are back in Olea and how pathetic and Jealous Pepsi and the King are of you.
>Try to explain to Katelynn that you're being fed commands, and that's why you do randomness.
>Realize that Katelynn doesn't love you anymore
>Suddenly you see the Cup of Ole- wait... No, that's just a lamp.
>you cry and ask for forgiveness from Katelynn! you aren’t bad! the possession awoke something weird! something inside you!
>Apologize to Katelynn, and then akwardly hug her.
>Puke up 20 pokeballs and start opening them in hope in finding an umbreon, and I don't know why I haven't made a account.
>Break free of the commands for a few seconds, and throw the Tome Of Possessing Peoplez out the window and say "STOP POSSESSING ME TOME!"
>Comically slip on a banana peel.
>Go on a quest to find the tome of purified possessing peoplez, aka the TOPPP
>Do an aerial maneuver of your choice.
>Transform into a Angel.
>Do not go on a quest to get the tome of purified possessing peoplez, instead get away from any possesing tome if possible. Then turn to Katelynn and say that she should use her light magic to throw the dark tome into the closest pit of lava.
>rename zazoom "glovewhale"
>just put on your hat and get on the freaking robot horse.
>Take the banana peel with you, it might come in handy.
>take off your shirt and make an oath to never wear a shirt again
>Ask Katelynn if she could replace your normal eye with one that has Rinnegan, or Byakugan if not the former.
>MEANWHILE IN A PLACE CALLED BACONLAND A ROBOT DECLARES WAR ON TROSDAN AND STARTS DELIVERING NUKES
>Ride Taxi to... wherever it is you're supposed to be going. Olea?
>put your shirt back on, and keep trying to explain to Katelynn the command thing again.
>make zaloom a party member
>Put shirt back on, give everyone their correct names (except King coke and Pepsi.) Also, remember the humdinger.
>Go on a quest to find all the tomes lacking black magic.
>Find the fire tome. Now look for the ice tome.
>Find the nearest tome-expert, and find out the location of all remaining 6 (Or 5, if you've found the ice one) Tomes.
>Ride Taxi like a horse.
The Story of Zarrus - Concluded
>Break through the ground and hit the blue text and show Katelynn the blue text to prove that cliff is being fed commands.
Chapter 12 - Free Time
>Get poked by someone, then see Blue Haired Angry Robot with Taxi's Teleporter Drive (he got the drive with teleporting tech) running off to Scriptland. Then scream "I'M GONNA GET YOU, ROBOT"
>Tell katelynn "I got this" And then fight the blue haired robot, while trying to be manly.
>Use your duck powers on the robot!
>Try To Get Cake Powers.
Mittenshark Level Up 2!
>Katelynn: Explain to Cliff what "Scriptland" is.
>Find the Keyblade
>Punch a nobody that came from noware and take out a red crystal that shines with from a power within. (Red=fire black=dark, you can figure it out, can you?)
>use your duck powers on the floor
>Realize that King Coke has a stick figure on his shirt.
>Become the video game's screen.
>Ask the Knight about King Coke.
>Find the 4 porcupines, and then merge them together!
>Turn into a fairy, then punch the knight and leave her behind in your mission after the robot, and also, drink a cup of tea in the meantime. PS: CARROTS ARE GOOD, SO ARE BANANAS
>No you forgot your sugarman hat! PUT IT BACK ON
>Say to katelynn "Doesn't the word "Script" also mean code?".
>Enchant your gear. You have more than plenty of XP
>Apologize to the knight, and say that the only reason you punched her and left her behind is because there was a mosquito trying to attack her, and you were shooing it away.
>Do the food
>find out that Blue Haired Robot was really going to a secret toy factory under Scriptland after noticing a note on the ground left by Blue Haired Robot
>look at the text as it come thro the grownd
>"This comment is going into Blackout because SOPA is back again. Here are 2 dancing rabbits."
>The dancing rabbits explode. Now go back and do the thing.
>Wonder how in the world Lillionna (SP?) manages to keep all that hair under her helmet.
>Go inside the castle, find the porcupines
>Become a ball
>Find that sugarman hat if you haven't already; it is an ABSOLUTELY necessary hat to have.
>Add Lillionna to your party.
>Team up with Lilly to find the robot, using only the colors blue, green and purple.
>Check your inventory
>Throw Zaloom toward Scriptland.
>A bearded kitten named Thomas the Tank Engine comes up, and then decides to follow you. Also, Katelynn removes Lillionna from your party
>Realize that even though Lillionna is nice, you still prefer Katelynn.
>Discover the true size of the universe
>Oh look! A chest! What could be in it??? (I hope more pokeballz!)
>Get hired as a lackey
>Follow Pepsi to wherever you're supposed to go.
>Get Pepsi to tell Ludwig to tell Katelynn to add Lilly onto the team.
>Go to the royal armory to find stuff you could use.
>Do a thing
>Katelynn: Refuse to add Lillionna, then realise Cliff used his magic duck powers to send a tsunami of ducks over the kingdom... Sound clip of Winnie the Pooh saying "Oh bother"
>An explosion occurs in a place that has nothing to do with the plot.
>Thank Pepsi for getting you out of that situation.
>Shave the cat and put Onlyhalf on him
>PEANUT BUTTER JELLY
>Get a mail letter and open it, only to find that Mr. Blue Hair Robot is going to invade some important place in the fabric of spacetime called Kirbeh Comic Void.
>Make a green apple appear then eat it.
>eat the bearded cat
>Attempt to turn Mega-Zoom into a duck!
>Dang, most of the text is making LOTS of typos.
>Remember, somehow, that the ice crystal is there somewhere, probably on the tip of the tallest mountain.
>Find Lilly and add her again
>Ask Pepsi why he beamed when you were shot with the laser from Hal's 'Lazor' shop.
>Make a blood pact with Mega-Zoom.
>See if Katelynn and/or Lillionna can come along on this mission.
>stomp on pepsi's face and use his body as a surfboard
>Load the first save
>Go to Mt. Lala
>Before loading the first save, save your progress.
>Enter a stable time loop.
>Use the 3DS XL To play Foot Attackers, and take a picture of Pepsi's foot so you can shoot it in the game. Also, make a tsunami of ducks over the kingdom.
>Zaloom: Try desperately to escape from Mega-Zoom.
>Save, then close the window and reopen the window for no apparent reason. Then realize something.
>Make your mouth look like Katelynn's (and almost everybody else's)
>Keep summoning yourself till you see yourself from the past summoning you then punch that past you
>Turn the knights into bacon.
>Transfer yourself from this save into your second-to-latest save using time travel.
>Grow a larger beard
>Watch as the tardis lands on all the knights, and the 11th doctor steps out
>loot the knights' dead bodies, then search for a crowbar
>Reload the most recent save so we can get back to the story. (By which I mean the save with the most progress)
>Ask the donut gods for donuts
>Suddenly, you decide to actually obey Pepsi.
>Oh, look. Free All-Terrain-Unicycles! Perfect for the tallest mountains in Olea!
>Continue your further dialog in a Shakespearean way.
>Save, then delete all previous saves.
>challenge some random person to a pokemon battle then shout, “Go Mega-Zoom!” then throw Mega-Zoom at them
>Go off on a brain melting intellectual tangent
>read a spoiler for how this ends on a walk-through site, and get very, very, mildly annoyed.
>Find pikachu and Kirby, and add them to your party, as well as doing a blood pact with them.
>Make a blood pact with Riskfan.
>Change Mega-Zoom back into Zazoom, Mittenshark, MJ, and Zaloom.
> Ask the porcupines how they were able to talk when they were Mega-Zoom.
>Delete the current save. If not possible, find a crowbar to hack the save machine with.
>Do not follow this command.
>Flap your arms like a bird.
>Glitc-It's TIIIME FOR: Command Lessons By Mr. Grain!
>Continue on what ever quest we were doing.
Chapter 13 - The Riddle Of Romla
>Save, and explain to Pepsi that you had nine lives the moment you first had cat powers, and check if you still have your bionic eye, and wonder why your clothes have returned.
>Use the All-Terrain-Unicycles that you were SUPPOSED to get,(they were even free) and climb the stupid mountain!
>Wait 42 whole pages, then derp.
>Spawn in a hyperdrive, fail in spawning the hyper drive, hear a robotic voice saying "NOPE" and look downwards.
>Draw a picture.
>Realize that it's past page 900, so you can put on costumes again! Now, put on a duck costume, then do a jig.
>Take out a hammer, (with EPIC music) and destroy anything evil next to you. If not, puke out a clay dragonfruit.
>Oh no, it's mega-robo armyborg's soul!
>Do something productive lunar hill style, then see Ultimate Robo-SonicBoom01 preparing to aim a missile at you!
>Cliff, Pepsi: Ascend.
>Cliff, Pepsi: Don't ascend.
>B E O N E W I T H T H E C O M M A N D!
>Summon as many people as possible and make a dance party for the 1000th page.
>Get Pikachu and Kirby and do a bloodpact with them, and continue on whatever strange quest you were doing in the first place. Also, summon all the porcupines INCLUDING Mega-Zoom, and see how that turns out.
>Install Sburb client and server.
>Ask the Pryo gods for Pryovision
>Save, then ride Pepsi up the steps
>For every step you go up, make a terrible joke.
>Put on a robe, and then find the MAGICAL MAGICALLY MAGIC Robe.
>Do everything you can think of that you can't actually do, then use your food given to you out of pity to solve world hunger
>Since you're wearing a duck suit, find a lemonade stand, walk up to it, and ask for grapes.
>Uhh... Why is there a second rift und-
>OH NO!! IT'S ROBO-ULITIMATE SONICBOO-
>Bop Pepsi on the head with your award.
>Adobe Flash flood!
>Obtain a map depicting the regions in and around Olea.
>Pull out a porcupine anatomy textbook and discover the secret of the porcupine. (What does the porcupine say?) I think the answer is OMOOMNOM carrot
>Dance dance dance dance dance dance dance.
>♪It's so hard to run with this sombrero on your head!♪
>Can you feel the sunshine?
>Wish your mother a happy Mother's Day. Also attempt recruitment.
>Complain about how Xbox One can't play Pong
>Become SuperCliff, then finally get to the top and collapse.
>When will someone level up for the 1000 page?
>Cosplay as Vaati the Wind Mage, but keep your sunglasses on.
>Summon Riskfan the dog
>OH NO! THE HUNDREDS OF PIPES AND TANKS IN THE MOUNTAIN ARE LEAKING HIGHLY EXPLOSIVE GREEN PHOTOSHOP AND COULD POSSIBLY BLOW UP! *cue picture of green Photoshop flowing out of pipes*
>Cry about the horrible ending of The Amazing Spiderman 2
>It's raining fezzes for 24 hours
>Add the dot for Scriptland, Kerbeh Comic Space, "App Cubberclock", Jello Factory, and Secret Toy Factory in the map.
>Decide to run ahead and leave Pepsi behind.
>Become one with a umbreon.
>Walk, then trip and fall into a conveniently placed pipe leading to "App Clubberclock"
>Mr Grain is Stealing pencils again
>Push the blue text Dingbat! Push it! Push!
>Fall out of a pipe and see lots of apps floating and "stuff"
>Go back and get Pepsi. You know to never leave anyone in a fez storm.
>Use your level-up favourite thing to get time powers! Also, use time powers to get up mountain!
>If you are at the riddle part, guess the Romla Ghost. If not, make a blood pact with a puddle of green photoshop.
>Cosplay as Clubs Deuce
>Fuse your sword with your lightning tome!
>Wish that a commander had never mentioned homestuck.
>Use your new Legacy Pack ability and see what it does.
>Ask a party member what App Cubberclock is.
>Riddle answer guess: Oxygen
>Order several books, including a tome, from the Scriptland Public Library System (SPLS)
>Do a google search for the answer
>Then, submit a command for yourself on the Cup of Olea website saying to beat the Riddler's face in until he tells you the answer!
>Ask the robot why you have to solve a riddle to climb the mountain.
>Continue to rush ahead if puzzle is solved, if not, whine for Pepsi to help.
>Look up what's going to be the next world, then notice that the next world of the game is App Clubberclock for some reason.
>*really bad fez rain that causes the robot to multifunction and Romla to fall apart.* *pikmin 2 boss music playing in background*
>Add the "Characters" page. Also, try to raise your- *static*
>Wait some hours, lift up the fez, then buy and drink that lemonade. On the other hand, it's raining toolboxes..
>Run up the mountain as fast as you can.
>Notice a rift. Then destroy it because it's breaking the rules.
>Maybe we should go downwards 10X a quarter the speed of light (or about as fast we can go downwards)! Also, Zaloom followed us, and now he's eating some bacon flavored Adobe Flash on the ground.
>Notice that it's raining fezzes so much that the fezzes are piling up to where you are! There's also a little bit of green Photoshop mixed with the fezzes.
>See if Riskfan can talk
>Oh so we're supposed to cosplay as Dave Strider? Do that and then praise the cosplaying gods
>Manipulate time to go in the past
>Now dress as Monkey D. Luffy and stretch your arm like Luffy and start attacking the gigantic Fez!
>REVIVE THE POOR ROBOT
>Considering the fact that you've probably lost...
>Take off your pegleg and activate monocle mode.
>*insert cliff becoming "epic"*
>Use your time powers to warp time!
>Use your lightning sword to kill the enemy that has probably appeared by now.
>Reveal Cliff's backstory. Also, remember to have a party after you get the Cup of Olea to the Olean king.
>Pick up the old man minutes before you killed him.
>Manipulate time to kill Geoffrey right before he's about to betray the royal family. When you return back to your time, it should have changed so that the Cup of Olea has been restored and Olea is a free country again.
>Pick Pepsi's nose with your sword. While still trying not to hurt him.
>Shoot random fireballs everywhere and get money for it.
>Notice that today in Olea is Be Cliff Day. Also, you caused a time paradox.
>Notice something. Also, there's a pillar over there.
>Notice a strange evil.
>Make a blood pact with the air.
>dood, wuts that in the distance is that red eyes
>Notice a red snake on a hang glider passing by...
>Return to what you're supposed to be doing.
>Cliff! Showcase your weapons! And you find a muffin!
>Have a long philosophical debate with Socrates, the ancient Greek philosopher.
>Find all 7 dragon balls
>Go talk to the dark, shady guy in the corner
>Hum a merry tune.
>Scream, because a giant shining pirate duck with sharp claws and fangs is chasing you from behind. And also, remember that it's been 24 hours, so soon you'll see katelynn again! And remember to RUN AWAY, BECAUSE YOU'RE GETTING CHASED.
>Actually be productive and ask if any of the old men know where the Cup of Olea is. Also, do NOT pick Pepsi's nose.
>Add Astro Abyss(largest pit evar!), Flaming Forums, Evil Pie's Mean & Big Broken Mech, Blue Haired Robot's Home, The Lair Of The Clone, Doodlepack Industries, Block 777, Missle Moon, Village Blender, and Unicode Passage to the map.
>Flip the bird to Pepsi, he's laughing at your injuries and you can't even lay a finger on him.
>Cliff!! Pray the muffin One piece Gods to give you Muffin/Luffy Powers! And/or replace your missing leg with that epic chainsaw that suddenly you noticed in the floor!
>Fuse yourself into the lightning tome/sword. If you can only fuse two things at a time, fuse yourself into the nearest thing you can find.
>Cosplay as Kirito from Sword Art Online. Then make yourself an Automail leg
>don't fuse with a lighting sword, fuse with the air instead. also don't cosplay and summon riskfan's head, and also make a face after the next command.
>Ask the old woman why you have to do everything around here
>Explore the mountains with Pepsi, dang it!
>Get food and conserve it long enough for the apocalypse.
>.od uoy nehw kcab emoc lliw gel ruoy yllufepoH .flesruoy nommuS
Level Up 5!
>What is that thingy? Tap-dance, and add suspense, but if nothing's there, do an epic stab to the nearest person.
>Don't flip the bird to Pepsi. Begin your search for the Cup of Olea in the mountains, provided you have permission.
>Don't stab someone, and don't ask a old woman. Also don't pray or anything.
>Do command number #642, with the glitches part removed.
>Can GEICO save you 15% or more on car insurance? Is throwing a bloody leg at an old man "Epic?"
Happy Holidays from Cup of Olea!
>Take the dead old man and throw him into the ocean. Or a small glass of orange juice. Whichever's closer.
>The Christmas tree that you threw out the window at the Olean castle suddenly comes flying towards you.
>Get the old man that you stabbed and ask Katelynn to heal him!
>Put your original suit on and stab the guy behind the tents
>Use your awesome powers of randomness to do something so spontaneous and zany whilst calling out "THIS IS THE CUP OF OLEA'S POWER!"
>Summon Mega-Zoom and Taxi.
>Do the tango with Riskfan.
>Watch as riskfan transforms into his demon state.
>Give Pepsi a secret santa gift.
>Apologize for all of the people you've randomly killed, and say you'll never do it again. Although you probably will- You CERTAINLY will, like the insane person you are.
>Sparta kick riskfan off the mountain, and get back to searching business
>Ask Katelynn if she's mad if you, if she is, hug Pepsi and tell him how Katelynn is mad at you.
>Try to build Pepsi out of Lego
>Refresh your memory on what you're supposed to be doing.
>reminisce of the old times when things weren't so bat poop insane
>Upgrade to the Wyvern Rider class! All airborne creatures are friends of yours whom will aid you in any difficult situations you may surmount!
>Make a blood pact with the air if only to summon it in case you are about to drown. That failing, go search and stop screwing around, for this page, at least.
Chapter 14 - Battle For The Cup!
>search the mountains with an enchanted radar you can find anything with! If not possible then break the fourth wall.
>Ride Demonfan to the top of one of the taller mountains.
>Fuse demonfan with zaloom
>Attempt to woo Pepsi.
>Remove clothes, state that it is a spiritual symbol of repentance for murdering innocents. Resume searching business before anyone asks questions.
>How about we just stop murdering innocents.
>be late to the unhiatus and shout NO
>Play Clue with your friends.
>Make a Harlem Shake Video
>Oh hey! Elon Musk!
>Realize you'll become a zillionaire if you succeed at this quest.
>Jump up and dance
>Find the nearest deadly surface and try to lick it
>Perform open heart surgery on self to heal any current or past wounds you've experienced. Afterwards, gain invulnerability and present pespi your still beating heart as a token of love.
>...but do in in a metaphorical way.
>Wonder if Katelynn will heal you if you ask, but don't actually do so because she's still mad at you. Then begin accumulating cash by defeating a normal mook enemy. You'll be a zillionaire in no time.
>Reduce the number of unloved horses in the world.
>The ground underneath your feet is soft. Dig a hole and see if the Cup of Olea is buried somewhere! After all, Zarrus could have hidden it.
>Initiate savestate abuse to get something you want.
>Praise the sun!
>Ask Pepsi if has any cool weapons with him. His dad's a zillionaire after all.
>Remember why the Council of Elders recognize you.
>don the comic sans hat.
>Put your clothes back on, and ask Katelynn why she's mad at you. Don't chicken out, bro.
>Fight the zombies until you get to Zarrus.
>Hug the save-bot.
>Summon a physical representation of the save machine
>Attack someone with the keyblade in your anger. I mean, it's obviously just a normal key, but it's cooler to pretend it's the keyblade.
>Don a hat that is far taller and heavier than yourself.
>fira wit da lazor
>Climb to the peak of the awesomest mountain you can see
>Go after the horse, realizing that he was the incarnation of Zarrus himself!
>Start digging. Make sure that the dirt you are flinging into the air lands on Pepsi.
>Undo the action of asking Katelynn why she's mad. You're pretty beat up as it is. Then return to the present and do the previous commands.
>Use the shovel to dig to Murica.
>Magically stop having a black eye.
>Try to make a shelter that is zombie-proof.
>Break the 4th wall, dedicate comic to MasterComic's girlfriend
>Use the savestate to try to obtain a shovel of a higher caliber from the sun (Gold, Silver, Diamond, etc.), but do everything the same afterwards. Try not to offend any Anti-Time Travel moles.
>THE MOLES ATTACK AND ARE LEAD BY A MOLE IN ARMOR.
>Summon a friendly dragon to fight by your side to repel the zombie hordes. Name him Floopy. And if the summon fails, nickname the nearest rock Floopy instead and take it with you.
>Dig through the air.
>Break your shovel and beat yourself over the head with the stick half, the zombies with the blade
>Get out your phone and play the song "Ghost" by Mystery Skulls
>Decide that Floppy MAY be plotting to kill you.
>Proceed to don Shovel Knight's helmet.
>Scoop the zombie innards off of Pepsi and throw them on top of that EVIL Floopy!
>Scoop the zombie innards off Floopy. He'd never hurt you and you should feel bad for being suspicious.
>Bury the bodies. Throw Lilly in there too.
>Suddenly accelerate to escape velocity.
>Get furious and run ahead to kill more zombies. Or other enemies. Eat your veggies, kids.
>Kill zombie with lightning-sword-throwing-technique
>Hug everyone in celebration!
>Call upon the waddle dee gods to get any power you want.
>Proceed to the left, using the mole you're holding as a bludgeoning weapon on anything in your way.
>Fuse with Zazoom
>Throw the mole into an oncoming line of zombies, causing them to topple like dominoes.
>Get a shovel, so you can become Shovel Knight!
>Something happens at a local pencil packaging factory in Murica
>Summon Mittensward and then summon Mittensark, then summon Mitternsark, then summon Mittensharrk just to make sure, summon Mitenshark again, and summon Mitetnenshierk again just for good measure
>Follow the plot while quoting Avatar: The Last Airbender.
>Summon Zalloom, Vazoom, Zashoom, Zavoom, Zagzoon, Zigzagzoom, and Shazam. (These are how you spell it, right?)
>Decide you're in the mood for some lightning-roasted mole
>Make a blood pact with all the newly summoned porcupines.
>Eat a Carrot of Magic! Kuku!
>Look at a Waddle Dee image and realize that he's so cute, he could kill all the zombies. Then use him to kill the zombies.
>Realize you need an special hearing aid to hear the waddle gods
>Type impulse 101 again
>Ask the suplex gods for powers of extreme and explosive backdrop techniques, then don't do anything related to your head for the next few commands.
>Ride on Demonfan
>Acquire a magnet, because moles eat metal. Obviously.
>Make sure that after you're done...
>Take off your shirt in preparation for epic boss battle time.
>Freeze time and use the most overpowered lightning spell in the lightning tome
Taxi Level Up 2!
>Sneak attack Zarrus with everyone at once!
>Ask Zarrus where he got his wicked haircut!
>Try to steal Zarrus' amazing haircut.
>Take off your pegleg, in preparation of the "epic" boss battle.
>Don't sneak attack Zarrus.
>Don't not sneak attack Zarrus, and don't not steal his haircut, don't not take your shirt off, and don't not kill him. Just don't ask your friends "what don't I do here?"
>Tell Pepsi to do a thing
>Realize his hair could be used as stairs.
>Summon all of the porcupines and cause them to fall on Zarrus
>Say hi to Zarrus
>Unfreeze time, causing the porcupines to fall onto Zarrus!
>Do a sweet backflip to dodge whatever attack Zarrus throws at you.
>Taxi: Transform into Robot Mode and start beating the c*** out of Zarrus.
>Shatter your monocle and use one of the glass pieces as a shank. Proceed to shank Zarrus. Preferably after you unpause time.
>Punch Zarrus in the gut! If he barfs, punch him again!
>Grab a gun, and then shoot at Zarrus, Lunar Hill style.
>Break off one of your horns on the Shovel Knight helmet and threaten Zarrus.
>Pull out a bagel as a peace offering.
>Concentrate as hard as you possibly can and try to turn Zarrus into a duck.
>Ask Pepsi to try to sneak over to Zarrus and steal the Cup while you keep him nice and distracted.
>Command the alt text to command!, and defend too.
>Summon Mittrerfeshark, Mitternetysharky, Mittegrhegrnyshrark, Mittenqwertyshark, and Zigzagzigzoom, Zigzagzigzagzoomy, and Zigzaagyagzoom ten meters on top of Zarrus. Prevent the next command.
>Switch out with Pepsi and tell him to attack Zarrus.
>Regrow leg, dress in Tactician's outfit, then command MasterComic to command something.
>Throw Pepsi at Zarrus.
>Teleport behind Zarrus and BACK SLASH!
>Attempt to impale Zarrus with your sword.
>Remove Zazoom from Zarrus's side and hug him because he knew you'd throw him and use his poison spines.
>Look at your stats.
>You're dressed as a tactician, so obviously your next move must be to acquire S-Support. Start working on that with Taxi by complimenting Taxi's battle performance.
>Do Ulti's thing but A-Support-like. Go no further. Also, don't touch the Cup at all.
>Having now acquired the Cup of Olea, begin the long journey back home, if that is currently a possibility.
>Eat the Cup of Olea.
>Throw a party for having beat such a worthy foe!
Lillionna has joined your party!
>Keep the cup protected from Pepsi.
>Save the game.
>Steal Zarrus's haircut for yourself. And his cape.
>Take the fire tome from Zarrus.
>Put the grandmaster outfit on, with regular hair, and eat the Cup of Olea.
>Try to explain to your teammates that you have like 80 different voices in your head who force you to do things while making bacon pie to please the bacon and pie gods while dancing to please the disco gods.
>We did it! So this means we can get a Persona, right? If not, then do a victory jump into the air.
>Put on shades and Roooll out. They see me rolling~ They hatin...
>Taxi: Transform back to horse mode, and grab Cliff
>Get on Taxi to taxi to the king, and then fart.
>Ask for a group hug.
>Dress like Pelvis Resley for the epic disco powers for 2 days and remember to finish your webcomic on Smackjeeves by the way. Also swiftly grab the Cup of Olea.
>Make a mental note to find out where this "Rider" from Taxi's past lives and get some revenge on him while giving Taxi closure!
>Hop around on only one foot for the next ten commands.
>Ask Katelynn if she has any gloves to hold the Cup with.
>Make celebratory soup.
>Get a C support with Pepsi.
>Trip and fall down because you're still hopping on one foot.
>Absolutely mangle the plot because the guy you killed was actually Cliff from the future.
>It's time for a montage of the main quest. But a really fast montage.
>It's not too late to be epic! Throw your bloody leg at the old man!
>Play truth or dare while waiting to get back.
>Find a stick to make a peg leg, so at least you won't need to "go to the doctor" as you clearly don't need it.
>Turn yourself into a lizard with the power of your mind.
>Save the game. It's been a while, yeah?
>Tell the elder gods of Meat and Pastries that their kids are fighting again and that you will help them in exchange for a sword of pure Baconium, the hardest substance in the world.
>Walk on your hands for the remainder of the walk back home.
>Apologize to Katelynn, for whatever you did to make her angry.
>Have a mental breakdown for one command.
>Puke more burnt out torches.
>Watch Con Air on your 3DS.
>Find a Shaymin and name it Zigzagoon. If that fails, look for a Poké Ball.
>Put on the iron helmet from Skyrim.
>Find a suspicious apple. Interrogate it for answers.
>Take off your shades in epic fashion next to the nearest person.
Chapter 15 - Another Date
>Dab as you walk through the castle.
>When going to the throne room slip at the very top of the stairs and fall all the way back down.
>Gain the ability to summon a banana peel anytime you want.
>Hug Zigzagoon and then congratulate MJ for growing up.
>Summon the air.
>Troll the audience with an outdated meme.
>Summon yourself to regain your missing leg.
>Unsummon the air. Save game and take a deep breath first.
>Steal a medal from somewhere in the castle and put it on because of your heroic deeds.
>Bring Zarrus and the Cup of Olea to the King, if that hasn't been accomplished already by this command. If it has, dance. Dance like there's no tomorrow.
>Sit down and contemplate life.
>Add Rider's house/lab to the map.
>Learn how to speak spider language and invite the tiny wall spider to join your party.
>Start to go to the meeting point and then immediately forget where you were going.
>Put on a nice suit for your date.
>It starts raining as you begin to get moving.
>Try asking the King for a loan so you can pay for food and stuff.
>Start running! Hopefully in the direction you're supposed to!
>Go outside, there probably will be something cool awaiting there. Then again, probably not! Who knows!
>Sign a blood pact with Zigzagoon, then change into Sheogorath's robes from Oblivion. Gotta look extra fancy for the date!
>Kill the dab, summon it, then go buy a time machine from the lazer store.
>If we have miraculously managed to get to the date, start feeling awkward. If we are not at the date, moonwalk in the general direction of the next major plot point.
>Taxi and Zigzagoon leave Cliff to his date and go on a fantastical side quest to the local grocery store.
>Eat your Holy Muffin to gain holy powers to impress Lillionna with.
>Look up "How to impress a knight on your first date" on your 3DS XL.
>Don a Fedora and proclaim how much of a nice guy you are. Then show off your loot.
>Save in case this date goes sour. You can never be too careful.
Taxi Level Up 3!
>Go inside, no point in waiting in the rain.
>Put on a dashing smile.
>Summon Zigzagoon and have her grow a Gracidea flower to give to your lovely date. After, unsummon her and let her return to her quest.
>See if you can wear Robot Mode Taxi as an epic robot suit exoskeleton.
>Taxi: Make an Orange Sunshine Cake with Apple Cider for a drink.
>Have Cliff say something nice about Lillionna.
>Why not make Orange Sunshine Apple Pie Cake?
>Ask Lillionna who her Smash Bros. main is.
>Try using the Sonic Screwdriver to recharge your 3DS.
>Check for traps. You never can be too careful.
>Assuming the waiter has gotten to the table by this point, impress Lilly by ordering for her. Accomplish this by saving before she orders, then loading the save so you can tell the waiter what she wants. She'll be super impressed, trust me.
>Steal one of the candles and put it in your inventory.
>Bash your head on the table and scream. Trust me, the ladies will be all over you.
>Unless she was somehow impressed by the previous two commands, realize you screwed up and undo the last two commands by loading your previous save.
>Just continue with dinner as normal like that never happened.
>Sign a blood pact with the waiter. Then proceed to order for yourself and Lillionna.
>Order the filet mignon for Lilly as well something to eat for yourself. Don't forget the wine!
>Taxi: Waltz with potatoes, up and down the produce isle.
>Order a salad.
>Ask the waiter if there is a dessert built for two on the menu.
>Impress Lillionna with Morse Code.
>Taxi and Zigzagoon: While you're at the store, buy some sour gummy worms for Cliff.
>Tell Lilly a joke.
>I don't know. I think you need to check for traps again. Just because you didn't find any the last time doesn't mean there aren't any.
>Compliment Lilly on something really small and unimportant that most people wouldn't notice.
>Show Lillionna you can tie your shoes.
>Talk armor and knight stuff to impress Lilly, and use big words so it looks like you really know what you're talking about.
>Switch outfits with Lilly without her noticing.
>Remember to get a wedding card for MasterComic and write, "Thank you for everything you've done for us. Sincerely, the voices in my head."
>Try teleporting by summoning yourself two feet to the right. If it doesn't work, then summon Dabbert.
>Go back up to see if the food has arrived yet.
>Realize you forgot to order some drinks! Rectify this situation; order some Ulwehnian root beer for the both of you, quick!
>Ask what Lilly thinks about axes.
>Tell Lilly about how you got Zazoom from the blacksmith, then ask her about herself.
>Press C to open the Dating HUD!
>Convince yourself that you'll learn the ancient Projectile Summon technique after the date.
>Say something funny in an attempt to make her laugh.
>Switch back to your and Lilly's normal clothes, again without her noticing.
>It's raining large computer fans, big prototype 0.5 kilograms, and giant metal model pirate ships for 72 hours.
>Get out from under the table, you buffoon.
>Taxi and Zigzagoon: Finally start working on the Orange Sunshine Cake, and hope Dabbert doesn't mess it up somehow.
>Order one of everything for Dabbert.
>Switch that painting of Crash Bandicoot on the wall with a painting of Spyro the Dragon.
>Switch the painting of Spyro with Megaman.exe.
>Try putting a candle in your inventory again after extinguishing it this time.
>Put the candle back on the table. Can't get arrested for stealing you know.
>Zigzagoon: Eat all the flowers to grow in strength. Taxi: Think of a good drink to go with the dessert.
>You should probably eat your food but idk.
>Smash your face into the food and eat it like a pig. A PIG!
>Eat all the remaining food in one bite. It shows how manly you are. Apparently that works on women. Or something.
>A few rainbow umbrellas join the rain of computer fans, weights, and model pirate ships.
>Remember to get an industrial strength, steel umbrella at Hal's before taking Lilly home.
>Burn the stupid Megaman.exe painting! Nobody cares about Megaman classic!...do they?
>Ask Lilly if she will marry you.
Chapter 16 - Reversal
>Look out the cell window.
>Save your game in case something goes horribly wrong soon.
>Contemplate murdering everyone in the cell with your bare hands to blow off some steam.
>Assert your position as the "Tough Guy" by beating up Mr. T.
>Talk with the other prisoners.
>Go into the fetal position and cry.
>Break everything in sight, and scream a little! And maybe do an evil laugh while you are at it!
>Come up with an elaborate and overly complicated plan to murder every single person who betrayed you. Brutally.
>Look for objects that you could use as weaponry. Who wouldn't want to stab a guard?
>Attempt to bash the door open WITH YOUR BARE HANDS LIKE A TOTAL BADASS!
>Have the other prisoners use you as a battering ram.
>Pray to the bacon and cat gods for a way to escape.
>Honestly, raining illegal golden apples or not, turning into a duck seems like a good idea. The guards would never expect it!
>Cmon, Cliff, let's be sensible. Check your inventory, your stats. What do you have? What can you do?
>Quick travel into the armory.
>If all else fails, see if you can get Tozzy to push you out the window in Duck form.
>Stop being a duck. Being a duck is stupid.
>Use your time travel power to travel back into the cell.
>Make a plan of action with the other prisoners for after you all escape through frantic quacking. First order of business should be getting revenge on the king.
.ɹoɟ evil oʇ gnihtyna ǝʌɐɥ regnol ou uoy ǝɔuᴉs edicius ʇᴉɯɯoƆ<
>Rip off your left arm to use as a weapon in case of emergency.
>Bite Tozzy's Leg because why not.
>Depending on what the current situation calls for, either say something intelligent, or something unintelligible.
>Remember Command 1052, and also add the two countries Nosotrospectrum and Recyicicleglutamate, the seas of Syntaxylidin, Inductozonous, and Photofflineinexorable, and add Castle Forterra, Factory Ulwehn, and The Green House just in case.
>Flail your arms like you've never flailed before.
>Activate a Noclip cheat and just walk through the door.
>Lick the door.
>Scream like a lunatic and run around in circles.
>Have a flashback to page 1159 and decide that if you get a shovel you should do that to the king once you escape.
Turn the computer that you are running Cup Of Olea on upside down thus reversing gravity, remembering Command 732.
>Use your pyro-vision to destroy the door.
>Got any grapes?
>Use your Time Travel God Power to go backwards in time before you went on your date.